Overheard at a Tea Party....

....Actually it was a ladies book club meeting and I will not name names to protect the guilty; and because I don't know her name.

Lady 1: "What is this, tea with sweetener?
Lady 2: "Sugar"
Lady 1: "What?"
Lady 2: "Sugar.  It's sweet tea."
Lady 1: "It's great!  We don't get this in Northern Virginia."
Lady 2: "My husband is from Alabama.  It's all we ever have."
Lady 1: "How do you make it.  Do you just make tea and put a bunch of sugar in it?"

Sigh..... It's where the Army sent us.....

Begging/Scamming in the Metro System

Since I travel on the famous (infamous?) DC Metro system every day, this topic is near and dear to my heart.  If you're a Facebook friend, you've seen my posts about the "Gawd is Good" woman in the Rosslyn station who walks along the platform hollering "Gawd is good, I need a cup of coffee (or whatever) can anybody spare 35 cents" (or some small amount, and even when someone gives her change, she doesn't stop.)  Well, last week, I got close enough to realize that she is a he, and he isn't some indigent beggar localized at Rosslyn, he's apparently a Metro road show, because he was outside the Vienna Station!  That's seven stops from Rosslyn, at the end of the orange line, and way off the beaten path if he was just a local character.  I'm guessing he picks a random station every day for his begging event.

The "Gawd is Good" guy looks like he could actually use some help, and he's a bit of a character, so I don't begrudge him too much.  At least there's some entertainment value there (OK, I'm heartless) but this next one gets me hot.

The last three days, I've been lucky enough to get off work relatively early, around 5:30.  Friday, I went down to the station and started to my usual waiting spot and there was a guy standing near the exit fare machine.  The exit fare machine is where you go to put money on your metro pass if you didn't initially put enough money on it to pay for the trip - the gates won't let you out until you pay up.  He approached me and said something like "I didn't realize it was still peak rates, can you spare a dollar or two so I can get out, I really need three, but anything will help".  I gave him $3 and walked on.  When I looked back, he was gone.  I thought that he was awfully quick at the exit fare machine but didn't think too much of it.

Monday, I was down there about the same time.  A guy came up the escalator from the downstairs platform and approached another male passenger standing near the exit fare machine.  I could tell he was begging and thought he looked familiar, but I didn't have a clear remembrance.  The other passenger handed him some money and I watched him walk away and not stop at the exit fare machine.  When he walked away with a limping gait, I was pretty sure that was my guy.

Today, about the same time, I'm standing in my normal spot and, lo and behold, the same guy comes up the escalator.  He turns to another guy to his immediate left and clearly asks for something and was refused.  He moved toward me and made eye contact, but must not have remembered me.  He started to speak and I gave him a disapproving scowl and shook my head.  He turned around and approached a middle aged woman near (again) the exit fare machine.  I could see he was giving his pitch and she was reaching for her purse, so I thought, I can't let this con take this advantage of this lady, so I walked right up to them and said, "you know it's funny he had the same problem yesterday, and Friday." and walked away.  I thought that would either embarrass him into walking away, or empower her to say no.  I didn't want to cause a violent confrontation (although I'm pretty confident that with a score of Pentagon Force Protection Agency officers, with enforcement powers in the Pentagon station, just at the top of the escalator, I would have come out OK).  I know they both heard me because I made eye contact and she said "really" and he did his best to ignore me.  Yet I looked back and she was handing him something that looked like a quarter.

I went back to her a couple of minutes later and told her that I think he's a regular that he got me on Friday and she said, "well its a small price to pay".  That makes me think this lady gave the cretin some change just to make him go away.  That is unconscionable in my opinion.

I've got my eye out for this guy now.  In the event I'm in the Pentagon station at 5:30ish, I will haunt him.  The next time, I will stand next to the next nice lady he targets until he goes away empty handed.

I have no issue with beggars who sit with a cup and a sign, or even yell "Gawd is Good, it's cold outside".  That's freedom of speech and if someone gives them money, that's a voluntary act.  Getting up close and personal and making the other person feel uncomfortable until they pay you to go away is not acceptable. 

Garbage Trucks and Computers

I think if Joseph had any comprehension of "what I want to be when I grow up" right now, I'm guessing he would probably say garbage truck driver.  A few weeks ago, I was sitting at Jeni's laptop when Janelle did something that got him terribly upset.  He was inconsolable, so I put him in my lap and went to youtube and watched some monster truck videos and that made it all better.  Since then we've watched bulldozers, race cars, firetrucks, etc., but lately its been all garbage trucks, all the time.  Joseph will come over to me and say, "Daddy.  Watch garbage truck.  On computer."  He loves to watch video's like this: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06xpoVe6ZoQ  He'll just sit and watch, and point, calling out colors, etc.


This afternoon, I was upstairs, doing whatever I was doing with my new Kindle Fire (love it, by the way).  Joseph came in the bedroom, came over to the bed and gave me the old, "Daddy, watch garbage trucks on computer" bit.  I had a brainstorm and let him up on the bed and we watched about 30 minutes of youtube videos of garbage trucks on the Fire.  Just the boys hanging out while the girls were downstairs doing whatever it is girls do when the men are away.  Jeni sneaked in to see what we were up to and took this pic.  Good times.

Janelle's "Chore Chart"

Jennifer bought Janelle a little Chore Chart, where she has tasks to perform every day.  If she completes the task, she gets a star for that task for the day.  It's all age appropriate stuff, like go to bed and stay in bed, get dressed, pick up your mess, things like that.  If she accumulates a certain number of stars each week - a number we set to keep it realistically achievable - she gets a reward.  The first week, it was lunch out with Daddy.  Last week, it was a sleepover with Aunt Kellie in her hotel room.

She has one of these clocks that tells her when its OK to get up.  That's how she's judged on the go to bed and stay in bed metric.  She has to be quiet and let Mommy sleep until the clock turns green to get that star.

This morning, she was up before I left (~6:15).  I saw her bedside light on and went in to check on her.  She was partly awake, so I gave her a hug and kiss and told her to go back asleep.  After I went downstairs to get ready to leave, I heard footsteps upstairs.  I looked up and saw the bathroom light on.  I went up and she was already done in the bathroom and back in her room.  I peeked in and she was sitting on the bed looking at her Cinderella book.  I gave her another hug and kiss and headed to work, thinking Jeni was getting an early wake-up.

Tonight, I asked Jeni what time Janelle got up.  She said Janelle came in our room at 7:30, and said, "Mommy, my clocks green and I'm dressed!"  I guess she responds well to positive reinforcement.  She'd waited patiently for over an hour and managed her time and activities to get dressed while she was waiting.  I'm really proud that she's "getting it".

What's Important

There is going to be one HECK of a football game tomorrow night.  Bama vs. LSU.  #1 vs. #2.  Probably the National Championship game.  Nick Saban vs. Les Miles.  It should be a classic.

I love football.  I love the game.  I love the competition, the athleticism, and the violent conflict that is emblematic of the human experience.  I love the fans and the game day environment.  I love the rivalries and the sportsmanship that transcends the sometimes trashy stuff that exists outside the stadium.   

Back in 1995, I was in 3-7 CAV at Ft. Stewart.  I still remember that the Squadron Chaplain was an Auburn grad (but I don't remember his name).  [If you know me, you know that I respect no one as much as the Army Chaplain.  No one is more dedicated to his mission, in more difficult situations, than the Army Chaplain.  I have sought the Chaplain's council many times in my career and have always benefited from it.]  Auburn beat Alabama that year.  The Chaplain ran into me shortly after that and asked what I thought of the game.  I said something along the lines of I didn't approve of the outcome.  He said "It's a good thing that football doesn't determine our self worth".

That's my whole point.  None of us play, or have played, football for either team.  Few of you reading this  graduated from either school.  Football is a game that we all enjoy watching, but at the end of the day, nothing real has changed, regardless of who wins or loses.  Our lives go on, unchanged, regardless of the outcome.

No matter who wins or loses, I still have a wonderful wife who loves me despite my many faults.  I still have two children who amaze me every day.  The outcome of the game will not change any of that.  If Alabama loses tomorrow and the rest of the season, or if they win out all the way to the National Championship, my baby boy and little girl will still think I hang the moon.  Either way, I'm a winner as long as I hold up my responsibilities as a good daddy.

I will be rooting my heart out for the Tide.  I will have an extra spring in my step Monday if Bama wins and I will have an extra wide smile for my VT friend who calls me an SEC prim a dona.   But win or lose, the important things remain constant.  That's what matters to me.

My Brave Little Girl

Monday, we went pumpkin picking.  We didn't go to a farm.  The farms around here have hayrides and stuff and it costs around $15 a head to go through the door.  $60 for the family is a bit pricey, so we found a place down by Burke Lake, about 20 min from here, that had pumpkins for sale and some extra activities to boot.

It was really just a house with a big backyard that they had fenced in with some chicken wire.  There was a trellis and a hand written sign that said admission $5.  We actually had to work a bit to find someone who would take our money.  We probably could have walked in at no charge.... but there's no honor in doing that.

They had a bunch of random playground stuff and homemade attractions.  They had a little pen with some goats, sheep, and rabbits, some swing-sets, a rope swing hanging from a tree, a bounce house, and a kid size zip line.

When we first got there, Jeni pointed out the zip line to Janelle.  Janelle demurred and I waved Jeni off because I didn't think it age appropriate for Janelle.  The kids went on and played on all the other stuff for nearly an hour.  The bounce house was a huge hit.  Janelle went in and out at least five times.  Joseph would get in and hold onto the side and hop up and down.  Although I thought the whole place was a liability attorney's nightmare (no outside supervision and no "spec" safety equipment) personal responsibility was evident and everyone was real nice.  People with big kids wouldn't let them go in the bounce house when Joseph was in there and, in return, I got him out in short order so their kids could go in.  Personal freedom at its best!

After a while, I noticed Janelle was down at the zip line, watching intently as other kids went down it.  Let me describe it.  It was a cable tied between two trees about 50' apart.  At the start point, there was a platform about 2' high and a ramp up to the tree about 5' off the ground.  At the top of the ramp, a kid would need to be about 4' tall to reach the handle, so about 10' off the ground.  At the bottom, the cable was about 6' above the ground, so only about a 4' drop, but it would have been a pretty good way for a little one to fall on the hard ground.

I walked up to Janelle and asked her what she was doing.  She replied matter-of-factly but with just a bit of reluctance, "I'm going to do that".  I asked if she was sure. She said, "I'm waiting for my turn".  A little boy went and then his sister.  The little boy ran back and said "I'm next".  I said nothing, and when the little girl was done, Janelle jumped up on the platform ahead of the boy.  I had planned to help her go off the platform, so it wouldn't be so big and fast, but she ran up the ramp.  I helped her up to the handle, she grabbed a firm hold, and off she went.  Of course, I followed her down, just in case.  I helped her down at the end and she was done.  She went back to the bounce house.

I'm really proud of her because I really think she was afraid to go down the zipline but she decided that she was going to do it, and by gum, she did it.  She didn't let overbearing the little boy get in her way.  She made up her mind that it was her turn, jumped up there, and went all the way.  HOOAH!

The Boys of Fall

As I was walking home from the Metro tonight, I decided to change my routine and take the Northern route. The distance is the same and I usually go south because it has fewer intersections to cross, but it was a very nice evening and I decided to take the north route for some reason. The north route takes me past Oakton High School, which is right around the corner from us, and tonight is Friday – Football Night – and the Cougars were at home. As I walked by, I saw the early arriving crowd – the cheerleaders and the band – out in the parking lot, and the kids all painted up and theme dressed for the game. As I walked along the road, the traffic was backed up trying to turn into the parking lot. The whole scene reminded me of this video. This is what it is all about – the boys of fall. Those teen-age giants of the gridiron who are living their dreams and making the memories that will last their entire lives.

If you know me, you know I played high school football for the mighty Sardis Lions. I was a 6’1”, 185 lb. Offensive Tackle and part time Defensive Noseguard. I was an average player that survived on want-to and heart, because lord knows I didn’t have any talent. I was really too small to be a lineman but too slow to be a receiver or a back, so they made me a lineman by default. Every sentiment Kenny Chesney expresses in the video is exactly correct. The sense of immortality on Fridays, the nervousness before the games, the emotion, the brotherhood, everything…… he nails it. The guys in the stands may have enjoyed the games and they may have fond memories of Friday football, but it isn’t anywhere near the same. You can’t understand it unless you played the game; unless you were a “boy of fall”.

Cheering in the stands is no substitute for hurting and bleeding on the field with your brothers in pads, and it’s not just game day. It’s also the summer workouts, the spring training, and the daily practices. I still bear a scar that Tracey Norton gave me one day when his facemask got up under my shoulder pads and peeled up a big piece of skin. I remember being an aspiring junior working hard for playing time and being so sore everyday that I wondered if I would ever go to sleep at night without hurting. I remember sucking sweat out of the collar of my practice jersey for hydration during an especially hard practice. I remember standing in the field house parking lot after practice my senior year just trying to soak it up because I knew in a few weeks it would all be over and I'd never have it again.

A miniscule number of high school football players will ever play in college and an even more miniscule number of them will make the pros, but for the rest of us, the value of the experience is priceless. The lessons and values I learned playing high school football have served me well in the last 20 years and I will take the memories of my high school football days to my grave. The friends I made on the gridiron can always count on me when the going gets tough and they need a real friend.