If you know me, you know one of my favorite topics is the trials and oddities I encounter on the DC Metro. I don't see too much proselytizing around the Metro station, at least in Vienna, but I do from time to time and it can be interesting. There are the occasional Mormon missionaries that stand politely outside the station in their black slacks and their white shirts and their hard plastic name tags that say, "I'm a Mormon Missionary". They don't really say that, of course, but they do say something close, like "Brother John Smith, Church of Latter Day Saints" and everyone knows who they are. They never speak to me. I guess its because I have the hardened look of a guy who lived amongst them for 2 1/2 years in Southeastern Idaho and resisted the pull of Mormonism. Don't get me wrong, I like Mormons. They are good people and make good neighbors. Heck, I'll even hold my nose (because of his politics, not his religion) and vote for Mitt Romney if he gets the nomination, but the LDS Church isn't for me.
The odd ones aren't so obvious. They blend in the crowd and jump out on unsuspecting, friendly looking people. A few weeks ago I had driven to the station that day, and that evening I was walking to the garage to get in my truck. This rather young black lady, with an interesting island kind of accent, said "excuse me". I though she might need directions, or help with a bus or something, so I stopped. She asked me if I believed in God. I said yes. She then started telling me how God, or at least the one with the real Heavenly power, is a woman. She said that God begot Jesus (we know this from John 3:16) and God couldn't have begot Jesus without a woman (she had a point) and Jesus' mother is our "Mother God". (I'm not being heretical here. I'm just reporting the story) She even knew what her name is because it is in the Bible. At this point, I'm looking for the mother ship to drop out of the sky to pick this young lady up. She goes on to explain that Jesus will return some day and all the believers will be born again. You all may think that the Bible says we should all be born again of water and spirit (John 3:4-6) but, according to this young lady, Jesus will return with his bride and all believers will literally be born again by the wife of Jesus to repopulate the earth. To quote Jerry Clower, If I'm lying, dying. As a buddy of mine used to say, I'm not talented enough to make this stuff up. I finally said something along the lines of nice talking to you, have a nice day, I have to get home.
Just today, a young man in a suit and tie approached me as I was headed into the station and asked if I had heard about the passover. I said yes and he asked if I wanted to learn more. I said that I had to get to the train. He walked with me. He was telling me how there is a passover in the Bible and it will save us. Now, he's talking about 100 miles a minute and gesturing with his hands because he only has about 30 yards before we hit the fare gate and he has to pay to go further. He tells me that this passover is hard to understand because it is written in parables, but it won't only save us from our sins but it will also save us from natural disasters on earth. Now, for most of us, salvation from our sins is the greatest hope we have and my Bible teaches me in Matt 10:28 "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.", but apparently the little earthquake last month had a lasting effect on this guy. He kept trying to emphasize that his passover would save us from natural disasters... and don't you want that, don't you want to be safe from natural disasters? When we got to the fare gate he asked me if I would at least take his name and number. I agreed, because there is a trashcan at the bottom of the escalator, and if it makes him feel better...........
I guess that's the penalty I pay for commuting in my uniform. Every bum, beggar, and weirdo knows that a man in uniform will at least be polite enough not to physically assault them if they approach them. Anyway, they make good stories and maybe you'll get a laugh....
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