Comedy Gold

The kids were on fire at the supper table tonight, giving quote after quote that made me hide my face behind my napkin, almost crying from laughter.

We had Digiorno's "freezer pizza" for supper tonight.  We had a left over Papa John's dipping sauce, which Joseph will literally drink, so Jeni warmed it up in a microwave proof sauce cup and let Joseph have it.  I asked him if I could have some and he said yes and then kept telling me to "dip your pizza Daddy" while I tried to explain that I only dip the crust and I hadn't eaten all the way up there yet.  When I did start dipping, he only let me have about 3 or 4 dips and I guess he thought I'd had enough.  He, very demonstratively, picked up the cup and moved it to the other side of his plate (away from me) and said, "That's enough Daddy!"

I'm currently taking a class I need in order to be certified for my next job, at the Defense Acquisition University (DAU) (a high falutin' name for an institution that issues no degrees).  Making kid friendly conversation, Jeni said, "Daddy, what did you do at school today?"  Janelle piped right in and said, "Daddy, what did you have for snack?!", echoing what I often ask her about her day at "school".

They will probably go to Tyson's Galleria to see Santa tomorrow, because there is no line on weekdays, so I asked Joseph what he was going to ask Santa for.  He said, "an Army truck!".  I haven't heard that before, so I asked, "an Army truck?"  Joseph gave me a perfect Pentagon salute, you know, shoulder shrug, elbows bent, and palms up, "I don't have an ARMY truck Daddy.  I'm going to ask for an Army truck."

Then Janelle asked Jeni what she wanted.  Jeni told her she wanted a vegetable peeler (something simple the kids could "get" her).  Janelle asked what else.  Jeni said maybe a rubber whisk.  Janelle asked what else and Jeni said, "I'll make you a little list", to which Janelle replied, "but Mommy, I can't read!"

Finally, Joseph announced, "I need to go potty."  Jeni said, OK, go potty.  Janelle, never one to be left out, announced, "I need to go potty too", and took off for the bathroom.  Joseph said, "I'll go upstairs to potty".  Janelle announced from the bathroom, "You can go here when I get done!"  Joseph said, "OK, I'll wait right here, on my truck."  (sitting on his ride-on fire truck)

You can't make this stuff up.  I can't express their vocalizations in type, so maybe you had to be there, but I could have sold tickets to dinner at the Ford house tonight.