What's Important to Them

Just for some context, I need to break down how Army Acquisition organizations are laid out, so you understand the players.  I am a Product Manager.  In the operational world, that's equivalent to a Battalion Commander.  My boss (Mr. M) is a civilian (Colonel, retired) and the equivalent to an operational Brigade Commander.  His boss, or my senior rater for evaluation reports, is the Program Executive Officer (PEO). He is the civilian equivalent to a 2-Star General, or a Division Commander.  The Deputy PEO (DPEO) is a 1-Star General, or in our case COL C is a high potential Colonel who very well may be on the next BG list.

Now for the story:  You may or may not know that our organization recently lost a friend and co-worker, Brian, to melanoma.  He was only 49, a retired NCO, and had been with the organization since the very beginning.  When my deputy, Tom (a retired Command Sergeant Major), was just beginning in the organization he worked very closely with Brian and they were good friends.

Brian's funeral was on April 12.  Of course, most of our product office turned out.  Mr. M was out of state, or he would have been there.  COL C was the only person from the entire PEO, other than our folks, who was there.

Fast forward to today.  I was talking to Tom about another issue that COL C is involved in.  I told Tom that I think COL C is a good guy.  He said, "Sir, when COL C came to Brian's funeral, he showed me the kind of man he is. That's all I need to know about him."  After a little conversation, he added, "and I understand Mr. M would have been there if he wasn't out of state, because that's the kind of person he is."  Tom has probably exchanged some pleasantries with COL C at PEO functions, so he really doesn't know him, but when COL C walked into the church for Brian's funeral, that was all Tom needed to know.

Back to a point a day or two before Brian's funeral, I mentioned something Steve (the DPM, Mr. M's deputy) had said. As deputies at adjacent echelons, Tom and Steve talk and work issues almost every day. I don't remember the exact text of Tom's response, but the basic gist is this: "I've got nothing for Steve. Since Brian passed, I haven't gotten one phone call, one e-mail, nothing from Steve about Brian."

Long ago, a wise leader gave me some leadership advice.  He said, "be at the events that are important to them (your subordinates)."  Be at their promotions, retirements, birthdays, etc.  What you think is important is irrelevant.  The things they remember is what is important to them and they will remember that you were there.  The corollary to that is leave early.   You were there, now leave and let them have their moment with family and friends.

I know in my heart of hearts that COL C was not thinking about making a point or endearing himself to our organization. He was there because, as a leader and a good man, he thought that was the place he needed to be.  He didn't know Brian from Adam, but he knew that Brian was part of the PEO family and that our organization was hurting and he needed to be there.  However, he did make a point and he did endear himself to our organization and, as Tom said, he showed himself to be the kind of man he is.  He was there when it mattered to them.  I will never forget his example.